Morning Update: May 27, 2014

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Random Walk’s Mission:

To help 1% of the population learn that they do NOT have to be wiped out in an economic catastrophe and/or market crash, and make it as easy as sending an email. Whether we teach them or they learn elsewhere we are happy.

NEXT MINI-CLASS

Yesterday

A quiet day leading up to a long weekend. Typical slow and slightly higher.

Today

POT people will recall that on Friday I stated we will be up on Monday, and were trying to sell ITM SPX put spreads. I stand by this statement.

For a year now I have been saying we are going to Dow 17,000. I have been saying that even when the market was selling off because of a government shutdown (that is huge bullish), Syria, etc. I stated that I thought it would be hit by the en of March and now we are near June, so I am off in time. I had no idea that the first half of the year would be dedicated to doing NOTHING.

I suspect we will hit the 17,000, and perhaps even go a little past that before the end of this market takes place. But for today, UP. 

POT is held each Wednesday night at 7:00pm eastern.

Old and Out of the Way

Attorney Stuff

DISCLAIMER (Seriously!)

Trading is almost as much fun as black jack in Vegas, but without all the annoying distractions of free drinks, Broadway shows, gorgeous people with low morals, and free buffets. It also has about the same odds of success, so when you lose all your money you wont have to walk past a smiling pit boss. Even Bruce Wayne lost everything with options in The Dark Knight Rises, and Superman keeps his day job at the DailyPlanet newspaper.

We did NOT get any TARP money, so we are not aligned with any politician. We have the utmost respect for our attorneys who tell us any attempt to trade is throwing money out the window, and investing is risky business (still a great movie). Past performance doesn’t mean a thing. The future is even scarier. There is no guarantee the sun will come up tomorrow. Random Walk and everyone associated with it promises absolutely nothing. We guarantee nothing. We wont ever do anything right unless it is an accident.

Random Walk only provides education (and a great cup of Starbucks if you visit our office). If you want advice please consult an attorney, licensed broker, Tarot cards, tax consultant, investment adviser, etc. Random Walk, LLC is full of morons, dolts, has-been(s), chromosome damaged individuals, thieves, ex-cons, losers, and carnival barkers. Any attempt to find a semblance of intelligence or integrity in Random Walk would be a waste of time.

When reading this you acknowledge that you agree to hold harmless Random Walk, LLC, its employees, independent contractors, authors, managers, owner(s), spouses, children, cousins, friends, bail bondsmen, and favorite bartender. In fact, you agree to grow up, accept some responsibility for your own actions, and stop believing the media that sells you on how nothing is your fault. You further agree in the antiquated and lost values that America is the land of opportunity and not the land of handouts. You agree any loss in the markets is a result of your own actions as we told you NOT to trade without consulting someone other than us.

All paper trades are SOLELY for example and to illustrate how certain strategies could perform without the benefit of hindsight and back-testing. You agree NOT to trade based on anything we say, do, write, advertise, etc. If we were smart we would be teaching high-school math and making the really big bucks. You agree to abide by the laws of your country and that it is legal to accept this transmission.

Every attempt has been made to ensure accuracy, but we are clueless. As a result it would be foolish and impossible to assure the accuracy of any numbers and/or come close to writing a sentence that is grammatically correct. You agree not to get on our case emotionally, physically, spiritually (no Voodoo dolls please) or legally when we screw up. We are doing our best to keep up with evolution, but it is a fast race and we are falling behind. If any of this stuff is too hard to accept please let us know and we will remove you from our mailing list and short term memory.

Random Walk deeply cares about each and every student. We try to keep the selling of products to a minimum. We believe our students are a result of attraction rather than promotion. This does NOT mean that the more attractive you are, the more we promote ourselves (in general).

Our products are written ONLY by floor traders, fund managers and retired floor traders. They are expensive and unique. That does NOT mean they (materials) come on a tablet of concrete from Mt. Sinai. If you are still reading this, you will likely be the first to have gotten this far. No guarantee for accuracy is made.

Because of the proprietary nature of our materials and the ease of electronic copying, all sales are final. There are far too many people who have no problem stealing our materials and putting them on torrents or copying them. These are the same low-life, selfish, whining, half-wit hypocrites that would cry like a newborn with a wet diaper if someone stole their car radio. They have to pay for our materials before stealing them, and live with their karma (and our legal team). Yes, we have caught a few and now have one person working on detective work solely.

Sales are far from our largest concern. If you are a whiner, complainer, or generally unhappy with life please go to someone else in this industry who values money over happiness. We can point you in the direction of other firms that only care about the bottom and top line. Jerry Springer can also point you in the right direction. Besides whiners are a total distraction from the awesome group of students we are fortunate to have. We are truly blessed and thank them (provided that is fine with our lawyers). “Thank yous” are only handed out in countries where legal and void where prohibited. If your country does not allow “thank yous” please refrain from accepting it. This disclaimer is copyright material and not a joke.